Every women needs to know that what they are trying to accomplish can in fact be achieved. Although at the start of sober living it might feel incredibly challenging and you might wonder how you’re going to get from here to there, having a role model is evidence that it can be done.
In fact, human beings tend to look to other people for clues about how to navigate life. In this way, men and women in recovery can look at the mistakes others have made and learn from them. And the opposite is also true, especially in early recovery. Women who have someone in their lives who have already walked the best sober living path might find it easier to get to long-term recovery.
Women who have role models can more easily navigate challenging points in life. Typically, those who have role models find success. Oprah Winfrey, for example, looked up to the writer Maya Angelou, and the teenage founder of online magazine Rookie, Tavi Gevinson, said that she has long admired the rock star, Stevie Nicks.
What’s interesting about having role models is that they are so inspirational that they cause you to be more like yourself. Although women with strong role models at first want to be more like those they admire, the inspiration leads to more self-expression and inner leadership. Recently, the actress Emma Stone shared who she looks up to, including Gilda Radner, Bill Murray, and Charlie Chaplin. And she pointed out that, “I’m not following in their footsteps; rather they make me want to be more myself.”
And those in early recovery need role models! The reason for the drinking and drugging is that there often weren’t the right role models at home. For instance, traumatized children often had to become adults even before they were at the right developmental age. Many felt the need to do this out of a lack of safety or a lack of having healthy models while growing up. However, even life without trauma can create the need to dissociate and push a part of the self away through addiction. For example, perhaps a parent was an alcoholic and they modeled a dysfunctional way to deal with intense emotions – keeping them repressed and out of sight so that they didn’t have to be experienced. The best womens sober living treatment might then include finding a role model, someone to look up to.
Of course, this is the precise purpose of having a sponsor in the 12-step Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) program. However, one danger is to make sure that a role model isn’t someone who is what’s known as a dry drunk. In other words, she might be no longer drinking, but she still has the symptoms of the illness of addiction. Instead, role models are those who inspire, motivate, and move us to live better lives.
If you’re a woman in a womens sober living facility and you don’t have a role model, it might be the perfect way to add power to your sober living path.
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