John has an obsession with women. He loves them. He wants to buy them things, adore them and show them the utmost respect. His obsession isn’t anything weird or strange; it’s just that he likes to spend time with women. To him, they’re nicer, prettier, and more interesting than men!
But when his drinking got out of control yesterday, he knew he needed to spend time in a facility of sober living for men only. And more importantly, he knew that he couldn’t be around women. They were going to be a huge distraction and keep him away from what he needed to do there: get sober!
John’s drinking started in high school and never really stopped. Although back then it was the occasional drink with his friends on the weekends, it’s only gotten worse. In his mid-20’s, John couldn’t find a job. Because of his unemployment, his self-esteem tanked and he started to drink every night. He would spend the days looking through recruitment ads and the evenings in front of the television with a beer in his hands. That’s when his drinking became an addiction.
Any drug counselor can explain that the activation of the brain’s reward system is the key to substance dependence (commonly called drug addiction). Once the cycle of addiction activates the internal reward system, a rush in the brain, that behavior can become the sole focus of one’s life to the exclusion and detriment of other life-activities.
This was the case with John. After 6 months of no work and drinking every night, having a beer felt like a need stronger than he had ever had before.
John is now 32 and still drinking every day. Sometimes, if he’s not working, he will start drinking in the morning and keep going until he passes out in front of the television. His girlfriend has been trying to convince him for the last three months to get sober. Finally, after getting into an accident yesterday, getting his 3rd DUI, and putting the other driver in the hospital, he’s ready to get sober!
However, John doesn’t want women around when he’s already facing a hefty climb towards recovery at sober living for men. He wants to be surrounded by other males who can support him in his process. The presence of women is going to bring up a host of emotional and psychological pressures that can interfere with treatment.
John knows that he would have a different experience at a sober living home where both males and females were participating. When females are not attending the same treatment center, men can keep their thoughts and attention on their recovery without having romantic or erotic distractions. John admits that although he has a girlfriend, that won’t stop him from having those romantic thoughts about other women!
Plus, in addition to this obvious benefit, being with other men undergoing the same process can be incredibly supportive. Facilities of sober living for men only can keep attention on the sole reason why they’re there: to get sober!
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