Tips for Facing Heartache and Sober Living at the Same Time

With a breakup, sober living can easily turn into living with cravings. You miss her. She’s not coming back and when the pain of her absence hits you,  so does the desire to drink. When you’re going through all the things you wished you said and replaying your last conversation in your head, those cravings may continue to resurface. So, how can you face a breakup and maintain sober living at the same time?

Here are a few tips to make it through the challenges of a breaking heart:

Watch movies: Sometimes, we need to hear the stories of others. We need to touch upon the dark circumstances they faced in order to have compassion for ourselves. Movies are an easy way to see the intimate experiences of others and how they overcame challenges, especially when it comes to heartache. In fact, you might be able to find a movie that highlights the challenges of sober living and relationship breakups.

Set up a support network:  Heartache can bring loneliness. Although there are times when you may want to be alone while you heal, you may also want to have friends and family around. In order to support sober living, you may want other recovering addicts around you who are a step or two ahead of you, those who have been through the difficulties you might be experiencing now. In fact, you may want to share your story of heartache among a sober community so that you can feel supported and held by others who are also in recovery.

Recognize that it’s going to take time to heal. Healing from heartache isn’t going to happen overnight. It’s going to take days, months, even years. Knowing this from the start can help inspire compassion and tenderness towards yourself. Knowing that it’s going to take awhile can help build a sense of acceptance with where you are right now. This kind of acceptance can help you feel more prepared for sober living. You might feel like you have a greater capacity to face and ignore cravings when they come.

Take good care of yourself. When you have at least an hour a day devoted to yourself, you send the message to yourself that you are worth it. That you are deserving of love and care, regardless of the circumstances you just went through. Sober living requires care.  When we have moments in our lives that help “fill our cup”, so to speak, we are then able to be there for others as well. For instance, if you’re in a 12-step community, you know that part of recovery is  supporting others in their process of getting and staying sober.

These are a few tips for facing heartache. If you’re in recovery, especially in your first year, a relationship breakup can be hard, and it can put you at risk for relapse. However, it doesn’t have to. Use these tips to support your sober living. If you need to, contact a mental health provider for additional support.


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